


Powdered Snow

by JournalVerse



Series: Regverse [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Other, Pre-Undertale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JournalVerse/pseuds/JournalVerse
Summary: No, we haven't quite made it to Snowdin yet.There's other powder to deal with first.





	Powdered Snow

It was a quiet time of day, that soft quiet lull between the lunch rush and dinner crowd. Anytime before now it would be a moment in time where my family would be cleaning and prepping the restaurant for the dinner service, getting ready to serve the masses. But as of now, we were sorting through what we’d managed to grab from the house as we ran, and all it was serving to do was put frowns on our faces. There was hardly anything, just the clothes on our backs and whatever we’d been already carrying in our pockets. Somehow I’d managed to salvage a palm-sized copy of  _ The Merchant of Venice _ despite everything that had happened, I had forgotten it was in my pocket. I was holding it between my hands, watching Père and Sera sort through his pockets and her small bag. She had been about to go meet a friend down the road when Gautier had slammed into the diner, and had never set her bag down. She and Pere had gotten away with their money and identity cards, mine had been lost somewhere between the house and the diner. At least if we had those, it wouldn’t be hard to get our properties back.

 

That is, if they even still existed. The neighborhood had already been on fire as we were running. There was a very large chance that all of monster-occupied Annecy had been burned to the ground. Ironic, really, as it was mainly fire monsters in the lakeside town. Père had managed to also get away with picture of the family he’d always had on him. He’d handed it to me, so I pressed it between the pages of my book to try and keep it a little safer. If we couldn’t recover mom’s urn ever, at least we had her image, and Gautier’s. I know Père still cursed himself for letting the urn slip out of his hands. As for my brother I… I didn’t know if we’d see him again. We hadn’t heard any word about him, and he hadn’t been seen since my family was in the Capitol. We were trying not to think about it too much, it was best if we kept our minds in the present and tried to stay focused on our current task of feeding the rest of the refugees. It was easy to see how heavily it weighed on Pere’s mind, though.

 

That small collection of things was all we had left in this world, unless by some miracle our house on the surface had survived. The diner was more likely, it was on the outskirts of the neighborhood rather than the middle of it like our house was. I was trying to rationalize how much damage could have possibly been done to our house as Père and Sera counted up what money they had between them. The fires had been three streets away when we’d left, maybe it had gotten put out before it had reached our street. It wasn’t incredibly unlikely, really. There was a possibil- 

 

“Grillby?” I blinked out of my thoughts and looked up at Père, who looked like he was waiting on the answer to a question.

 

“I’m sorry, Père, what did you ask?” I moved my book to my lap so I could scrub my fingers through my flames. “I just phased out for a moment there.”

 

Père’s face softened and he smirked lightly. “I asked what you were thinking about so fiercely that it made your flames red. I thought I was looking at Gautier for a moment instead of Grillbert.” His tone was gentle, but I heard his soft touch of worry underneath. As I said, it wasn’t hard to see how heavily it weighed on him. I offered a smirk and shook my head. 

 

“Nothing, really, just thinking about the neighborhood, I guess?” I sighed and glanced at Sera, who had her brow furrowed as if she were trying to read my thoughts. She usually could. “Trying to judge how bad that fire was, I guess?” 

 

Sera’s face softened and she nodded. “I was thinking about that too. Brelle’s house is definitely gone, but ours might have been spared. The fire was blazing when we left but it was three streets away, so there’s a chance we could go back to it.”

 

“Heh, my thoughts exactly, Sera.” I dropped my hands back to my lap, picking my book back up and pressing it between my palms once more. The weight and sensation of something as familiar as a book was reassuring in a way I couldn’t fully comprehend at that moment.

 

“Well, either way, if our house survived or not, at least we still have each other, right?” Père’s grin was infectious, and Sera started laughing, batting at his shoulder in her mirth.

 

“Père you’re so cheesy! I can’t believe you just said that!” She leaned into him, still giggling, and he grinned, looping an arm around her with his flames flickering oh so pleasantly. He had remained such a bright and warm light through the whole ordeal. Père had always been Sera and I’s guiding light and it looked as if a lot of other monsters were beginning to look to him for guidance as well. I couldn’t blame them. He was the sun. 

 

“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” He laughed, smiling gently.

 

“Heh, it is. It’s very true Père.” I grinned back at him which only made Sera laugh more, and Père grin wider.

 

“Gosh you two may be the colors of the sun but you’re actually made of cheese.” Sera’s happy, bright voice eased every worry and ache in my soul and flames, and Père’s booming laugh made me chuckle as well. I looked up at a soft noise, someone clearing their throat. Pere and Sera hadn’t heard it yet, but there was another flame at the edge of our gathering, his blue flames flickering tensely as he twisted something in his hands. It only took one look at it for my soul to boil over in dread, and Sera to catch the expression and finally look up. Pere followed her head movement and his face fell as well.

 

“Bonjour, monsieur, I.” The blue fire sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry, are you Yves Chaleureux?”    
  
“Oui, I am.” Pere was speaking carefully, keeping his emotions in control, and Sera wrapped her arms around his bicep. I looked more closely at the fire while he was gathering himself, and my soul froze as I realized he was wearing a uniform precisely like Gautier’s. 

 

“I am Private Bisset, I am from the 47th infantry. I-”   
  
“You served with my son, is what you’re getting at.” The Private looked relieved at Pere’s straightforwardness, and sighed, nodding.

 

“Oui, monsieur, I did. I’ve been trying to find you, I saw your name on the roster.” He was struggling to deliver the news that we’d all figured out by then, and another flame stepped into view, also in uniform but a bit worse for wear, he’d likely been in the thick of it. He was orange and green, and laid a relieving hand on Bisset’s shoulder.

 

“At ease, Private.” The newcomer stepped forward to be shoulder to shoulder with him, looking only slightly more put together himself, and sighed quietly. “I’m General Ashbel, and… unfortunately we come bearing bad news.” Pere nodded, and Sera’s arms around his got tighter. I pressed my book hard between my hands. The Commander sighed once more, closing his eyes briefly then taking the item the Private had been holding and trying not to twist in his hands. “We found this on the battlefield, outside the mountain. We normally just… leave things behind. But this. Is a different situation.” His speech was nearly as halted as mine, and I closed my eyes for a moment, sucking in a breath before standing and moving towards him. The green in his flames got deeper, and he held my gaze while holding the bundle out. “I’m sorry, it was. All we could grab.” His voice had thinned, strained, and I took the bundle from him. The sky blue of the cloth was unmistakable, the heavy wool completely familiar. The gentle scattering of grey dust on it, however, was not. It seemed so cruel for the pattern to resemble fresh snow.

 

“Thank you.” I didn’t have to hear my own voice to know it matched the General’s, I could feel it in my throat. We held gazes for a moment, and in that moment I could feel every ounce of understanding and sympathy from the General. He had been through this himself, with someone just as dear to his heart. He nodded and released the coat, stepping back with his hands clasping behind his back. Private Bisset did the same next to him, but couldn’t lift his gaze from the ground. 

 

“I would normally say my pleasure after delivering news but… never this sort of news. Not like this.” Ashbel sighed, the green flickering deeper through his flames once more. “Never like this.” Those words were softer, and his head lowered, he swallowed hard and raised it once more. “Gautier was a wonderful soldier. I was proud to have him in my company. I’m.” His mouth stretched thin as he took a steadying breath, closing his eyes briefly. I felt, more than heard, the shake in his voice. I honestly began to wonder if he was heartbroken over my brother as well. “I’m going to miss him.” 

 

“Thank you, General.” Pere had stood sometime while I wasn’t paying attention and held out his hand to the General, who looked up and grasped it lightly. “We’ve been praying for closure ever since we lost sight of him. And you’ve brought it to us.” Ashbel softened and relaxed with the words, smirking very softly. 

 

“I’m just doing my job, sir.” 

 

“You gave us what we couldn’t find for ourselves. We’re in your debt, General.” Sera appeared between Pere and I, smiling softly at the soldiers despite the tears in the corners of her eyes. Private Bisset looked up long enough to notice, and his increased distress was visible. He quickly lowered his head again. The General shook his head.

 

“Please, you owe me nothing. If I could bring Gautier back to us- you, whole, instead of just his coat, I would.” His hands clasped behind his back and his gaze lowered once more. I cleared my throat past its tightening.

 

“We can thank you for his coat, then.” He looked up at me and the immense gratitude in his eyes was a little shocking, but understandable. He didn’t want to be thanked for telling a father his son had died. Being thanked for returning a coat was a much lighter weight on one’s soul.

 

“You’re welcome for his coat, then.” Although his voice was still soft, it was stronger, and I found myself thankful for it. “I need to continue my work, I’m sorry to drop this on you and leave. Please, if you need anything, please come find us.” His sincerity is what broke Sera, and she quietly pressed her face to Pere’s sleeve to disguise the tears. He noticed but kept quiet, resting a hand on the Private’s shoulder again. “Let’s leave them be, Bisset.” The Private nodded and looked up quickly, ready to leave but not wanting to be impolite.

 

“The Commander is right, please find us if you need anything. And… and thank you, for cooking for everyone. You’ve made this cavern so much more bearable.” He ducked his gaze once more and Pere smiled at him softly, reaching out to pat his other shoulder.   
  
“Thank you, Private.” Pere’s voice was soft, a gentle tone I’d only heard on Sundays. He released his shoulder and turned back to us, Sera hiding against his arm again. I gave one last nod to Ashbel and Bisset, they returned it and left. 

 

Gautier’s coat and dust was pressed against my chest, and I didn’t know how to process the fact my brother was dead. How could I deal with this? How could I realign myself in a world where I’d lost my home and my brother?  _ Oh… god, how was I going to tell Brelle…. _

 

“Grillbert.” Pere’s voice hadn’t lost its soft tone, and I found myself losing hold of the coat as he took it, gently working it out of the death grip that had increased as my thoughts grew more panicked. Sera moved to hold my waist instead, and Pere wrapped his arms around us both. All was quiet for the Chaleureux family, now one less.

 

================================

 

It was hours later and we’d managed to make ourselves feel better by impersonating each other, Sera was winning since her impersonations were spot on. She knew us in a way that we didn’t. My side was still too sore to let loose laughing, so I restrained myself. In fact, simply snickering made it twinge, enough to make me wince and shift to hold my side, pressing gently against the bandages under my borrowed sweater. Sera’s face shifted quickly from the grin she had and she pushed away from Père to reach for my shoulders.   
  
“Oh, Grillb, are you still hurting?” Her voice was nearly as soft as mom’s, and she moved to hold my face gently, studying it. 

 

“Heh, well, I did get hit with a lot of ice while saving your cute face.” I grinned and Sera stuck her tongue out at me, whirling to look at Père.

 

“Père, make him go back to the infirmary.” 

 

“Grillbert listen to your little sister and go to the infirmary.”

 

“What? No, I’m fine.” I straightened, trying to downplay my aches. There were monsters, soldiers, in the infirmary that needed more help than I did.

 

“Clearly not, son, at least go find Brelle.” Père’s brow furrowed, and he stood so both of my family members were standing over me. He’d brought up Brelle, my argument was lost. Even though the thought of her filled me with a bit of dread now. How was I supposed to bring up Gautier to her?

 

“Brelle will at least make it stop hurting, Grillby.” Sera’s normal stoic face was crossed with concern and it was literally the only thing that made me give in. Heaving a sigh, I nodded.

 

“Alright, alright.” I pushed myself up shakily, leaning onto Père’s outstretched arm as I worked on steadying myself. “I think I’ll be okay to walk, standing up is the hardest part.”

 

“Mhm, not for you.” Sera crossed her arms and frowned. “The hardest part for you is asking for help - oh, no, wait, admitting you need help at all is the hardest part.” Her tone melded into sarcasm and it took all my power not to stick my tongue out at her. She stuck hers out at me, though. 

 

But she was right. There was absolutely no escaping that logic at all. Instead I just nodded, letting her pride and the soft insult remain intact. “Alright Sera, you win this one. But if she’s helping in the infirmary again I’m going to leave her alone.” 

 

“That’s fair.” Sera nodded, satisfied with her orders being followed. “Père I believe we have somewhere to be, don’t we?” She whirled to leave, heading off towards the newly designated mess area where monsters had been gathering two or three times a day to eat and find each other. We hadn’t been underground more than a few days, but it seemed habits remained hard to break even through despair. 

 

“Heh, yes, I suppose we do. Go get yourself taken care of, Grillby.” With a pat to my shoulder and a wide grin, Père turned to follow Sera’s soft red light into the mess. 

 

Resting a hand on my side, I turned the other way and headed towards the infirmary, the most likely place Brelle could be found. She’d been there last I’d checked, last three times I’d checked, really. She seemed to be helping the nurses a lot. After a moment I spotted a pink glow and smiled, she really was a sight for sore eyes. And a sore side.

 

“Brelle?” I called once in earshot, and she sparked and turned to look at me, her confused expression widening into a grin.

 

“Grillby, mon cherie!” She stood, elegant as ever, and moved to wrap her arms around my shoulders. I kept one hand back to press on my side but wrapped the other around her back, bowing my head to her flames. She was always a comfort, and for someone who hadn’t seen her family since the barrier went up, she was still one of the brightest lights in the world. My dear childhood friend. I absolutely dreaded letting her know what had happened, dulling her light.

 

“My Brelle.” I breathed out softly, letting my forehead sink against her flames. “Could you work some of your magic on my side again?” 

 

“Oh oui, cherie, of course, my dear Grillby.” She pulled back, shifting my hand away from the wound and laying both of her own over it. With a soft breath she pushed gently glowing green magic into my flames. The relief was so instant and strong that I couldn’t stifle a groan, and I sunk against Brelle.

 

“Oh heavens, thank you.” My voice was a whisper but I pushed as much sincerity and thankfulness as I could into it.

 

“Hehe, de rein, mon cherie. You are my favorite boy, I will heal all your hurts.” She grinned and patted my side gently, and I couldn’t help the wide grin that settled on my face. I bent just slightly to kiss her forehead, lingering for a moment.   
  


“Thank you, my darling.”

 

Brelle laughed, wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning her head on my shoulder. To anyone else we likely looked like a couple, we’d gotten those comments before rather frequently. My own father had been so sure that if she hadn’t convinced Gautier to marry her, she would settle for me. It wasn’t a bad thought, I adored Brelle, she was one of my best friends. I could spend a lifetime with her fairly happily.

 

“You are so very welcome, my dear flame. Anytime you hurt please come to me. I will take care of you.” 

 

“Thank you. You are the absolute best.” I kissed her head again noisily, making that crystalline laugh chime out once more. “I think I’ll be able to stand and cook for three hours now.” 

 

“Hehe, I hope so, I was planning on eating with you tonight.” She leaned back and released me, grinning away.

 

“Well, if you’re finished then we’ll walk over together.” I turned and offered her my arm, which she took with another giggle. We headed over towards the mess together and I spotted Sera darting between the area we’d made into a cobbled together line and other monsters, making sure everyone had enough to eat. We were falling into diner habits, which wasn’t surprising in the slightest. We weren’t taking orders, just making a few dishes with whatever we could find and serving it to anyone interested. 

 

Père had refused any offer of money, saying that we couldn’t possibly ask for anything when everyone had lost everything. He instead asked for volunteers to help cook or asked people to look for ingredients and bring them back to use. As of the moment is seemed like a stable system, we did what we could with what we had.

 

“Grillby! Finally! We know you went to find Brelle but we didn’t expect to have the entire underground here tonight, we need you!” The words all came out at once from Sera, who grinned at Brelle then dragged me behind the line so I could help make use of the ingredient offerings of the day.

 

That night’s service lasted longer than normal, apparently no one had wanted to cook for themselves. By the end of it, we’d used all the ingredients brought to us and my side was screaming once more.

 

“All right, you, go sit down. Now.” Père shoved me out of the line, back towards a waiting Brelle who was helping Sera clean up some of the mess we’d made. “You are off the line and on rest until dinnertime tomorrow.” 

 

His grin was infectious, and I followed his orders with a smirk and a nod. “Yes sir, Chaplain.” Using his military rank had become a joke of sorts when Père started getting bossy. Chaplain wasn’t a commanding office, but Père had served for so long that the militaristic instincts were hard to ignore. At first he’d protested the use but at our insistence he had caved and decided to just enjoy the joke. 

 

“Pff, alright, Private, get out of here.” He waved me off, and I nodded once more, holding my side as I walked away. Brelle looked up as I approached and gave me what I’d always known to be the most gentle smile in the world. My soul sunk at the returned thought of losing that smile to the worst news she’d hear in the past few days.

 

“Do you need some more help, my darling?” She asked quietly, moving to stand at my side. I shook my head as her hands moved to lay on the wound along my side.

 

“No, dearest, I think I can sleep this one off.” The arm I didn’t have wrapped around my torso lifted to wrap around her shoulders and I leaned forward to rest my forehead against the top of her head. 

 

“Are you sure?”   
  
“Mhm, I’ll be alright. I’ll go sit somewhere.” I shifted with her as she moved to wrap her arms gently around my waist, and I kissed the top of her head.

 

“Get a room.” Sera’s voice was deadpan as she walked past, heading back towards the line and Père. Brelle lost it, bowing her head to hide against my shoulder as she laughed.

 

“How many times have we heard that? And yet you still cackle every time.” I grinned at her.

 

“Can’t help it! We’ve never even thought about being together but everyone just assumes!” Her words were broken up by laughter and I could hear Sera further away, snickering and trying to muffle it.

 

“Well if you weren’t constantly calling me darling and dearest, and always clinging to me, they wouldn’t.” My tone was light and teasing, this was a conversation we’d had both seriously and jokingly so it had become the most okay subject to tease about.

 

“Oh, excusez-moi, Grillby? You who call me both those things as well and kiss my flames all the time right where everyone can see?” She was grinning so hard that her delight showed in her flames, crackling pleasantly and high. She tried to pull away and I laughed and tugged her back, nuzzling her headflames and squeezing her tight. “See! This is why! It is all you, Grillbert!”

 

“But Brelle! The whole world must know how much I adore you!” Her laughter had infected me, and I kissed her flames once more before pulling back with a grin and loosening my grip.

 

“Oh I think we realize it. Just get married already.” Sera was rolling her eyes as she appeared at Brelle’s side, but her good natured smirk was on display. 

 

“I cannot marry your brother, dear Serafina.” Brelle pulled away from me and spun dramatically, her back facing us. Following her playacting, I gasped, my hand moving to my chest, sinking in a heartbroken fashion. Sera rolled her eyes again, she’d seen this game many times before. 

 

“Oh, whyever not, dear Brelle?” She crossed her arms, fighting a grin and steadily failing. Brelle giggled but swiftly stifled it and cleared her throat instead. Normally this would fall to Brelle waxing poetic about Gautier but I could see Sera skillfully avoiding the topic already.

 

“Because you see, I am in love with another!” Brelle put her hand to her heart, the other held out to Sera, who took it.

 

“Oh? Who is it this time? The moon?” 

 

“Alright, while the moon is a glorious goddess above us and I hold her in extremely high regard, we are now separated from each other and it would never work out between us. Plus, I am pure fire and she controls the oceans.” Brelle’s dramatic tone had dropped back to her normal voice and Sera and I simply lost it at the blatant switch. Brelle and I had been through many theatre classes and stage productions together and she had always been the star of the show, both literally and figuratively. 

 

“Haha, oh, Juliet, you broke character there.” I laughed behind my hand, and she spun with a glare.

 

“Oh, hush, Romeo, thou who art too proud to allow such momentary and meaningless slips of character for the sake of comedy!” She advanced towards me, her finger pointed right at my chest, glare never dropping. Sera continued laughing while I quieted and watched, still hiding behind my hand. Brelle’s theatre tone was back in full force, the power that slowly gathered around her that had always commanded the attention of the entire audience building. A few lingering monsters turned to watch, amused smirks on their faces.

 

“Hah, oh, oh no…” I was shrinking back as she spoke, grinning hard, delighted my friend was feeling enough like herself that she wanted to playact. The news could wait a little longer.

 

“You’re right oh no! You’ve gone and turned Brelle into Beatrice again!” Sera was cackling, shaking her head and holding her sides. Brelle’s glare broke and she straightened, smirking away. I took another step back and immediately cringed, sucking in a sharp breath as my side protested fiercely at the thought of moving backwards any further. Brelle’s smirk turned to panic and Sera immediately stopped laughing. Both of them moved to either of my sides, grabbing my arms to steady me as I struggled to get my panicked flames back under control. It was hard to breathe, which meant keeping the fire under control was about a million times more difficult.

 

“Grillbert mon cherie are you alright?” Brelle’s voice was strained with worry and I tried to give her a reassuring smile but it must have looked more like a grimace. Her eyes widened and she looked to Sera, they both nodded. 

 

Before I knew it I was being smothered in green magic, Sera doing most of the supporting as Brelle focused on her magic. There was no chance for argument, not with both of them supporting me, so I just sighed and closed my eyes, letting Brelle and Sera do as they pleased. They really didn’t need to help, I would have been fine, the pain would have faded once I sat down. But trying to fight Sera and Brelle when they had this mindset was as bad of an idea as holding a lit match over a kerosene barrel was. 

 

“Alright, cherie, is that any better?” Brelle asked after a moment, pulling away enough to look in my face. Sera did the same, albeit quietly, with barely masked concern on her face. “Grillbert?” Brelle’s voice grew more concerned as I didn’t answer right away, and I opened my eyes to see both her and Sera staring up at me. 

 

“Grillby?” It was the smallest I had ever heard Sera’s voice, and my soul froze a little at it.

 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m fine. Thank you. I’m alright.” I managed to reach out and wrap an arm around them both, resting my head against Sera’s. “I’m alright, I promise.” It was more of a whisper that time, and I felt both girls relax and Sera move to wrap her arms around me.

 

“I got a little worried back there but I knew you’d be alright.” Sera said, muffled against my shoulder. I smirked.

 

“Just a little, hm?” Sera’s arms tightened around me enough to make me grunt softly, then released me afterwards. Brelle giggled as Sera turned away and raised her chin, pretending not to care, walking off towards where Père was inspecting a pan we’d managed to salvage from somewhere.

 

“Only a little, frère. Why don’t you just go find somewhere to be lazy for an hour or four?” I laughed and nodded, lifting my arm as Brelle moved to lean against my uninjured side.

 

“She is right, you should rest, mon cherie. It would be good for you. I’ll go with you.” Brelle’s voice was as soft as ever but held a firm note to it, one I only heard when she was making me listen to her. When she was telling me to take a break. I sighed softly, nodding. I knew she was right, it was rare Brelle wasn’t right. I just wanted to delay the inevitable a little longer.

 

“Alright, diva. Let’s go find a corner to tuck into.” She smiled at me and we wandered a little ways away, indeed finding our own little corner of the cavern to rest against and relax for a moment. We could still see Père and Sera cleaning things up and could have probably heard them if they’d shouted, so I didn’t feel too bad about abandoning them with cleanup duty.

 

“So, mon cherie, have you been in the hospital today?” Brelle’s voice was quiet as she settled next to me, looking down at the sweater of Père’s I was still wearing. I hadn’t noticed but… some of Gautier’s dust was still caught in the knit. My soul sunk and my expression must have given things away because the next thing I knew, Brelle’s arms were around my shoulders and she had her head resting lightly against mine. “Who was it, darling?”

 

“It…” I sighed, strained and thin, lifting my hand to rest on the back of her head. “The General found Gautier’s coat.”

And there it was, out in the open, finally for the Diva to hear. I closed my eyes, bearing the silence from her and moving my other arm to wrap around her back. She still breathed, but it was shallow, slow, hardly a breath at all each time. It felt like every flame on her body had completely stilled, she didn’t even crackle. 

 

“I’m sorry, I did-”

 

“Didn’t want to tell me?” Her voice was a snap, and I forced myself not to take it to heart as she pulled back, scrubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms, flames now flickering wildly, madly. “Didn’t think I could handle it? Take it? What do you take me for, Grillbert?” Her tone was angry but if you knew her like I did, you’d hear the hurt underneath it. I reached out slowly, pushing one of her hands away to cup her face. She glared at me heatedly but didn’t pull away.

 

“I take you for someone who was very deeply in love with my brother and someone who I can’t bear to make cry.” 

 

“You foolish sentimental boy.” She choked on the words as they became a sob, falling against my chest and burying her face in my shoulder as she finally let herself cry. I bowed my head to rest in her headflames, my arms settling around her back and shoulders to keep her close and warm. My soul was absolutely aching, losing my brother was hard enough but to have to be the one to tell Brelle made it a hundred times worse. She was forever the light, forever the pink-tinted dawn to match Gautier’s darkened sunset. And now she was a pink wisp out in the dark, and all I could do was cling to her. 

 

And so we did, we clung to each other, curled up tightly in that little alcove within earshot of my family, mourning one of the best men either of us had ever known. One of the most steadfast, confident, absolutely sure of all of his actions men in the entire universe. The pillar we’d both leaned on and confided in and counted on was gone. Throughout the years of living underground, before we got firmly established, there would be more of these nights, and not just with Brelle. I’d have Sera curled to my side pretending not to hear the tears hissing against her flames, Père asking me to hold his hand while he bowed his head and prayed. Once or twice even General Ashbel came to visit us and have dinner, not making any mention of Gautier at all, but you could see the thoughts in his eyes and in the way the green in his flames darkened ever so slightly. I found myself constantly lost and turning to ask someone a question, only to see he wasn’t there. 

 

I doubt that any of my family will ever know what exactly killed Gautier, and quite frankly I’m more than alright not knowing. I only hope that he wasn’t alone when it happened. One of the few things I’ve ever prayed for is that my brother did not die alone. I pray he had someone he at least vaguely knew at his side, someone to shout for him and beg him to stay in this world. Someone he could give that “don’t worry about it” smirk to before his eyes closed.

 

If I pray for anything at all in this world, it’s that.


End file.
